Harry VS Sparklepire
by sweetangel-babycakes
Summary: Harry Potter is tasked to get rid of Inferis in a town called Forks in Washington. Little did he know that they weren't really Inferis but something else differently. Rated T for the later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the story.**

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There had been sightings of pale white people walking around in a little town in Washington. The ministry highly suspected that they were Inferis. So, in order to know about this further, they asked Harry Potter to do some little investigation. At first, he wasn't too keen on accepting the job. It was far away from his home and besides they could send somebody else there, but the new Minister of Magic insisted. According to him, no one would face them because they were scared that it might be Voldemort's work.

"I told you already, Voldemort is dead! I made sure of it." Harry yelled to the minister who was calmly sipping tea. The portraits around them cowered in fear as Harry mentioned You-Know-Who's name and looked around as if expecting Voldemort to burst out of nowhere.

"I know you did Harry but he had risen from the dead once. That made people a little uncertain on this matter. You're the only person I know who can do this since you've defeated You-Know-Who twice and you do not fear him," the Minister explained calmly. "Besides, the others are busy Mr. Potter. Some mischievous things had been happening again. Some You-Know-Who fanatics have cropped up again. All the other good Aurors are rounding them up. Honestly, youth these days. They want to be next Dark Lord." the minister sighed and shook his head.

Harry fought the urge to fight back and to ask him to send somebody else but if he denied this request he might be kicked out of the office. He had just been made an Auror recently and he did not want to destroy his clean record. It was even rare that he had a clean one considering that he always got detention in Hogwarts.

"Fine." Harry agreed reluctantly and set out to do the mission.

It had been a long time since he faced one of them and he didn't fancy remembering it. He could still vividly picture out the events that happened inside the cave. Sadness always gripped him when he remembered it and a little bit of fear lingered in his heart. He could still see the white hands, all dragging him down to the bottom. He had panicked then and had almost died. If it wasn't for the headmaster Albus Dumbledore, he would've not been here. That event had traumatized him and he promised himself that if he encountered an inferi would not do the same mistake again.

So there he was in Forks, Washington with an unused umbrella in his right hand and wand at his left. It rained there often but today the sun was shining weakly for the first time in weeks, according to the locals. Harry was glad about that part because he was going to scout the places where the people had reported seeing pale things. If he were to fight under the rain, and if that happened outdoors, there would be chance that he'd slip and be hit by a killing curse. But that was just another 'what if' situation. But seeing that he was dealing with inferis (possibly), he was almost sure that that would happen. No one dared to summon an inferi if they didn't want the Ministry knocking on their door. He supposed that it was done by a hardcore Voldemort fanatic or a Deatheater that had escaped them and if that was the case, a fight was most likely to happen.

The first place he scouted was a house nearby. It was owned by the Chief of Police, Charlie Swan. The house was empty when he got there. There didn't seem to be anything sinister going on inside the house but just to be sure, he started to mutter complex spells while going around the house in circles expecting something to happen. If this house had some sort of connection to the Dark Arts he would be able to detect it. When he finished, he did not find anything. If there were inferis showing up here, then he should be feeling something really strong. Inferis were, after all, connected to the darkest wizards of all time.

Just to be sure, he got inside and checked their belongings one by one. Nothing suspicious turned up other than the occasional "I LOVE EDWARD!" banners he saw. Finding nothing related to the Dark Arts, he found a place inside the house to Disapparate safely feeling a bit disturbed. He felt that he shouldn't have seen the banners but he shook it out of his mind and focused on the place he was about to Apparate to.

The next place he was going to visit would be a meadow in a forest. Hikers didn't come there often and when they did they always came back to town with a strange story about a pale figure darting out of vision. And when they checked where that pale thing was, they would find a body of a dead animal drained of blood. It sounded as though it was something a person related to Dark Arts would do.

Harry cautiously sneaked a peak outside to see if any Muggles were around to hear him or see him dissaparate. Seeing no one, he turned on the spot and was soon squeezed into a tube. Every part of his body was compressed and he felt like his lungs were being flattened. Just when he thought he couldn't breathe anymore, he had hit solid ground and was now feeling much better.

The first thing he saw was the blinding light from the sun. Then, shielding his eyes from the sun, he saw two figures lying on the ground. One was a teenage girl with brown curly hair. She was leaning on some sort of glittery thing. With a closer examination, Harry found out that the glittery thing was a man. He was lying on the ground with his eyes closed and the girl was tracing his skin with her fingers. The man had messy brown hair but when he opened his eyes, Harry saw that it was gold.

They didn't hear him Apparate apparently for they were still doing whatever they were doing. Harry was inching closer to take a much closer look on the sparkly thing. Unfortunately, he hadn't looked below and had stepped on a twig.

_Crack! _The two stopped abruptly and were looking around, trying to see where the sound came from. The girl shrugged and concluded that it was nothing but the boy shook his head and then, he stood up rapidly making the girl jump in surprise.

"No! Edward. It was nothing." Harry heard the girl say as she tugged forcefully on Edward's shirt.

"Shush Bella." Edward raised his hand which immediately silenced the girl as if she were duct taped.

"Uh oh." Harry muttered under his breath. That person called Edward was walking towards him as if he knew where he was and he highly suspected that. He readied his wand, bracing himself for an attack or a killing curse but nothing happened. He was now getting close and when he stepped into a shade, he had stopped sparkling. Edward was now pale as a dead person and he had an anxious expression. Harry gasped. What was this thing? Was it really inferi? Was it a human with a fondness of glitters?

"Who's there?" he yelled as he heard Harry gasping. Before Harry could say "gay", the once sparkly person was in front of him with his perfect white teeth bared at Harry. It didn't look scary at all.

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**A/N: YAY! Comments are highly appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Update.. at last~ once again i do not own the characters in this story. **

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The very first thing that struck Harry's mind was Edward's perfect teeth. They were perfectly aligned, all so white and sadly, just like every other body part he had, it sparkled. Harry cringed at its weirdness and concluded that if this guy wasn't conjured by Dark Magic then surely the world must be nuts. Who could create a creature so gay (as in happy) and so… sparkly?

"It's not what you think!" the thing said after seeing Harry's disgusted expression. "I wasn't spark –"

"- _Stupefy_!" Harry interrupted Edward by sending a good old stunning spell to the sparkly creature. Edward gasped because of what just happened. He thought it to be highly impossible that sorcerers exist since he would've known or Carlisle would've known. And even if he was already used to the idea of mythological things being true, he was still in disbelief because this guy wasn't just some cheap rip off of the true myth.

But seeing that he was perfect and flawless, he did not see any apparent danger and did not move away. He reasoned out that red thing would not affect him.

But before he could utter anything like 'nice try', he was hit on his head and the words that he was about to say were swallowed by him. His head jerked backwards, and he fell on the ground face-first as if he was doing a back flip only that he didn't land on his feet. Edward crashed on the floor making a very loud sound that the birds on the nearby trees flew away, leaving behind shit that fell on Edward's back and hair.

"Wicked!" Harry grinned as he watched what had just happened. But then his amusement was short-lived for he remembered what had happened when he stunned an inferi a long time ago and it did not go well. The inferis did get propelled backward but they soon got up as if nothing happened. And if this guy was _really _an inferi with a knack of sparkling, then he should be getting up soon and Harry prepared for that moment.

But then, a minute passed and Edward was still motionless, still dead and still covered in bird crap. For a second Harry expected Edward to suddenly stand up and yell 'You got punked!' but he didn't.

Cautiously, Harry approached the creature and then prodded his face with his wand. Edward didn't react. And finally, after an almost thorough examination Harry concluded that he was stunned and it was safe to bring him for interrogation.

He was about to disapparate with the body when a sudden cry came from the woods, "EDWARD, MY LOVE AND MASTER!"

Harry almost barfed. He looked around for the source of the hideous remark and soon found a brown haired girl crawling towards them. LITERALLY crawling. She was covered in bruises and cuts and every time she tried to stand up, she fell on her face, body, arm, neck or ass. Harry almost cried just for the fact that she looked so horrid that you could not look at her straight in the eye without your own eyes watering from her ugliness.

When she got there, she was unrecognizable. She did not look human and Harry was reminded of the time Hermione performed a jinx on him that made his face swollen and shiny, only on this person's case, it was worse and it was all natural.

Immediately, she kneeled down and leaned on his chest. She closed her eyes and listened intently for some pulse.

Harry was so surprised by her stupidity that he could not help but ask, "Are you okay ma'am?" There was no answer. Harry reached out his hand intending to tap her on the shoulder but then suddenly the girl hissed and slapped away his hand so fiercely.

"His heart is not beating! I mean, he's dead. But still! You killed him!" the girl named Bella shrieked. Harry winced as his ears bled and as his hand grew redder from the slap he had just received.

"He's stunned." Harry replied.

The girl gawked at Harry as if he just hit her on the head with a hard-bound dictionary and after ten seconds the girl replied, "But his heart is not beating!"

"Well isn't that guy supposed to be dead?"

Again, Bella answered after ten seconds, "Yes, he's dead but he's a vampire so he's perfect and all that. And you know what? Stop speaking weirdly. Speak in English! Stop speaking Chinese!" Bella nodded.

"What?" Harry yelled. Vampires… sparkle? Harry could not and would not believe it and last time he checked, vampires certainly did not sparkle. Burning from exposure to sunlight makes them vampires and sparkling just isn't right! If Hermione were here she would certainly tell this Bella girl that she was wrong and she was referring to another creature.

"See?" Bella suddenly cried as if she just won a bet, "You didn't speak in English and you killed my perfect love and soul mate Edward!"

"For your information Ms. Bella, I do speak in English only I have a different accent. Anyway, if I really wasn't speaking in English, you would not have understood me. Second of all, I did not kill Edward!"

This time it took almost a full minute before she answered and by that time Harry was already pulling out yanks of his hair from frustration, "You have a good point. Then why isn't his heart beating huh? If he's dead, then why isn't his heart beating with perfection?"

"For the love of- Are you an idiot or something? He's dead! D-E-A-D! Dead! And if you stun a DEAD person then surely their heart would not BEAT!" Harry screamed fiercely.

"OH!" Bella cried after three minutes. "Yeah, you're right. This is so hard. I cannot get what you're saying since you're speaking in a weird dialect."

Harry almost exploded but he kept his cool by counting one to ten slowly. He had learned that from Uncle Vernon but it was useless. His blood was still boiling and he needed to say something or he'd blow up. "It's no wonder that you two ended up together." Harry mumbled.

"Why? Because we're so perfectly cute together? " Bella answered hopefully.

"Nope." said Harry, "because you're both odd. The other sparkles and you are just plain dumb."

"Did you just call my Edward… odd?" Bella's face became serious and a sudden frown fell upon her face. Harry did not notice this for he was too pissed off at the girl right now.

"Yeah. I called him odd. Do you think that it is so manly to SPARKLE and that it's attractive? DO YOU THINK THAT SOMEONE WOULD EVEN DATE YOU?" Harry's voice rose with every word and at the last word his voice was so high that it felt like people one mile away could hear him.

"You did not just insult Edward." Bella repeated. Harry once again yanked out a few of his hair. What is wrong with this girl? He just directly insulted her and all she cared about was this Edward guy. What was so good about some guy who sparkles?

"You know what? Never mind. Talking to you is useless." Harry concluded. He knew when he had lost and he had certainly lost on this one. If he continued any longer, his sanity would be pushed to the limits.

"YOU INSULTED EDWARD!" Bella pointed her filthy, long nails at Harry who ignored the act, which was a very unwise thing to do when facing a rabid and dumb fan girl.

"I'll be going now. Good day ma'am!" Harry bowed and turned around. When he said his goodbye, he saw from the corner of his eye the Bella girl rising. Harry thought that she was just going to yell more about how he insulted Edward but he was wrong. He was so wrong.

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**oh joy! Reviews are appreciated even if they're bad.. **


	3. Chapter 3

"Harry Potter…" Bella mumbled. Somehow Harry didn't sense the intent to kill injected in Bella's voice and clearly he didn't notice how Bella suddenly knew his name. All he cared about was getting the hell away so he couldn't possibly perform a killing curse on anyone. Forget Inferis. All he saw was gay crap. Forget being an Auror. If it meant getting away from this dumb toddler then please!

Nonetheless, since he was taught to be good guy he stopped in his tracks when he heard his name. "Yes?" he said and turned. Too late.

Everything happened so fast. In a second Bella had lunged at him, knocking out his wand from his hand. They tumbled together in the ground, the leaves flew everywhere and a couple of twigs snapped. Harry could just feel the sharp ends of the rock stabbing his back as he skidded on the floor and finally he came to a halt as he hit his head on the trunk of a tree.

"Ouch!" he winced. His eyes watered from the pain. He could see black spots on his vision.

"YOU ARROGANT NOBODY! NO ONE INSULTS MY EDWARD!" Bella shrieked like a blood thirsty animal. Then with the agility of the Flash, she started clawing every visible skin she could see, including her own. Her hand turned into a blur, blood spattered everywhere and Harry swore that he never experienced this much pain even with Voldemort still around to give him that stupid pain on his scar.

"Would you please stop?" Harry desperately shielded himself from Bella's wrath. If he could just get his freaking wand. That freaking Edward… if it weren't for him… ARGH! Desperation crawled into his mind. He couldn't take this anymore. He needed a distraction… he needed…

"Look! Edward just took off his shirt." Harry yelled. Bella suddenly stopped, and turned expectantly towards Edward. When she saw he was still unmoving, her face turned so sour the rage face would've been put to shame.

"You dare trick me?" Bella yelled. But that was just enough time for Harry to recover. With one last mighty effort, Harry managed to push Bella away. Bella rolled down on the ground while Harry lay there panting. He was so exhausted and his skin felt like it was burning. It was a million times worse than anything Harry had ever felt and that's saying something.

Harry lay there motionless, willing his hands and feet to cooperate. He was in a state of shock. He felt like passing out but that would mean certain death. Bella rolled fairly far away but she was beginning to slow down. _Move! Wake up! _ Harry yelled to himself.

Bella was getting up, shaking her head groggily and for a moment she seemed confused… like she had forgotten who she was or what she was doing. _Shit shit shit, _Harry winced and willed every muscle in his body to move. Slowly, his hand cooperated. He gripped the trunk of the tree for support and his feet came to life. His brain was starting to work… but not yet. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Bella looking around and seeing Edward. Then the cold hard truth came crashing down on her again and she found Harry. She slowly tried to get up, falling a couple of times as she did so.

_SHIT! _Harry thought. He gripped the tree tightly and used its trunk as support so he could walk. He was unsteady. He felt like a toddler, like he was learning how to walk again. Every part of his body screamed in agony and to top it off his head still hurt from hitting it too hard on the tree. He could see his wand… if he could just walk a few more steps.

Bella was standing up now. She was still clumsy and she kept falling, causing leaves to disperse everywhere. At least that bought him some time. He was five feet away from his wand. Bella was approaching and was running towards him. He'd never make it. Bella was practically a meter away. She was going to jump.

"MOVE!" Harry yelled to himself. He and Bella jumped simultaneously. He landed on the ground, his chin scraping the ground while Bella was hugging his feet. He saw his wand. It was practically inches away from his hands. He reached out for it but it slipped. He kicked at Bella and struggled to get out of her iron grip but his motor skills were not yet working properly and she was fuelled on triple A fan girl batteries.

"Wuahahahaha!" Bella laughed maniacally as she held on tightly and dragged Harry away from his wand. "No magic twig for you!"

"Damn it!" Harry panted and struggled. He was almost there. His fingers were practically gripping the wand's edge. Damn sweaty hands! "Damn you all!" he thought aloud. Fuelled with frustration, he kicked Bella's face so hard that her teeth might've caved in. That felt good.

"Ouch!" Bella let go of Harry as she felt her face with her hands. With one last triumphant squirm Harry managed to grip his wand.

Without thinking about it, Harry rolled to the side, pointed his wand at Bella and yelled, _"Crucio!"_ He finally understood what Bellatrix had said to him. This was the first time that he really meant that spell. His hatred flowed into his blood and through his wand. It felt good, seeing Bella squirm in agony. She was begging… and that made it all better… like cherry on top of the ice cream.

"Edward!" Bella yelled. Harry strengthened the spell. All of Bella's bones were practically bent on weird angles now.

"Shut up!" Harry panted. His eyes burned with hatred. He pulled off an evil laugh as Bella continued wailing. This felt so good. Suddenly he felt something cold… and something so sinister behind him.

"Hello… Harry Potter." A voice came from behind. It was cold and it sounded like a snake's hiss. His heart suddenly sank. His world turned upside down. It was like he was feeling that feeling when he Apparated only it was… endless. Harry stopped his curse. It couldn't be… He killed _him. _He spun around, his heart beating so fast, it might've jumped from his rib cage.

Then he saw… and he couldn't fucking believe it.


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